How the Gates Stole Capitalism!
The web market was free,
All sites could be great.
And everyone loved it,
Except for Bill Gates.
Way north of Yahooville,
Up there in his mansion,
Sat Bill Gates the fascist,
His mind full of tension.
Yahooville rejected his offers,
Simply saying, “We're fine.”
Bill Gates screamed, “It's not fair!
Their money should be mine!”
“Sure I'm a billionaire,
But it's just not enough,”
He said, thinking the title,
“Third richest man” was not up to snuff.
He hated the free market,
And the whole capitalist system.
There are quite a few reasons,
And here I shall list them:
Maybe it was that his eyes were closed,
Or perhaps it was the monopoly he imposed.
But they say the biggest reason he's a fascist pig
Is that his greed complex is two sizes too big.
Gates looked down on Yahooville,
Coveting its income,
And he spoke out loud,
“Ya know, this gets me to thinkin'...”
And Bill got an idea that went like this:
“I could enter Yahooville dressed as Uncle Sam!
Yahooville loves capitalism so much,
They won't know it's a sham!”
So Bill sewed a costume,
Complete with a hat,
And called his dog Steve Ballmer,
Who ran straight in at that.
Bill loaded empty bags onto his sled,
Then hopped on with his dog Steve and said,
“Tonight we'll do a hostile takeover.
It's time the economy got a makeover!”
And so into Yahooville
Bill and Steve descended;
Cackling and barking,
As though both demented.
By night Gates stole Yahooville's
Employees – Stole them away!
And took them to dump off of
Mount No-Severance-Pay.
As the sled climbed the mountain,
Yahooville's revenue flooded his wallet.
Bill laughed, “I'm stealing Yahooville,
And I'm so clever that nothing can stall it!”
In Yahooville (as in the Bible) they say,
“Pride goeth before destruction.”
And as Bill Gates' wallet grew ninety sizes that day,
His wallet fell over on him and crushed him.
Bill Gates couldn't move,
The takeover never finished,
And Yahooville was happy,
As its power was not diminished.
Please note: We here at PeanutFoot.net do not think Bill Gates is evil, as he is kind enough to donate large amounts of money to good causes. We also like that when he donates computer equiptment to schools in third-world countries, he is nice enough not to donate Vista. Unfortunately, Bill Gates had to go off with Steve Ballmer on this, "If Yahoo doesn't take our offer, we'll have to resort to a hostile takeover," nonsense and ruined everything. So the only logical thing to do was write a story in which Bill Gates is crushed by his own wallet.